


Not you

by RobronRainbows



Category: robron
Genre: Aarons birthday, M/M, Panic Attack, Robert knowing Aaron, alex isn’t what Aaron wants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-26 10:04:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13233435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobronRainbows/pseuds/RobronRainbows
Summary: Aaron realising Alex is not what he needs.





	Not you

**Author's Note:**

> Short, quick thing. Sorry for mistakes.. wrote this quickly on my mobile. Comment and let me know if you’d like more. :)

“Morning sleepy.” Alex smiled. 

Aaron was padding his way to the kitchen table. “Yeah, should’ve got up sooner. Got to get to town to try and keep some of our clients.”

Alex placed a hot coffee in front of him with a bowl of cereal. 

Aaron smiled “thanks. You don’t have to make me breakfast every time you stay round.” 

“I want to.” He leant down and kissed his cheek. “Better be going anyway. Can’t keep those sick people waiting.”

“Yeah, see you later.”

“You sure will.” 

Aaron almost sighed with relief when he left. He didn’t want to feel that way but sometimes Alex was just a bit to much. 

He looked down at his cereal and exhaled deeply, pushing it to the side, standing up and placing two slices of bread in the toaster. 

As he waited for the toast to pop up he looked around the Mill. It was empty, cold. Seemed too empty for some reason. His eyes landed on the draw, one of the draws in the chest of draws that sat beside the tele. He wanted to open it, spend hours going through it, just like he did some nights when it was really bad. The toast snapped him out of his thoughts as he placed them on a plate and drowned them with butter. 

 

“Your joking me, fuck sake!” Aaron slammed the door of the truck shut and hung up the phone. “Fuck!” 

He rested his head against the truck door and took a deep breath. His phone started to ring again. He looked down ‘Alex calling’ he closed his eyes and sighed again. 

“Hey.” He said as softly as he could. 

“Hi. Where are you?” Alex asked.

“In town. I told you, I had a meeting.”

“You said it was in the morning?”

“Well it overrun a little.” Aaron opened the door and got in. “I’m now leaving anyway, why?”

Alex shuffled “no reason. Just got worried.”

Aaron rolled his eyes. “Ok well, I’ll be back in half an hour.”

“Great.”

“Bye.” Aaron hung up. He felt bad afterwards but he wasn’t in the mood. 

 

“He’ll be half an hour.” Alex said loudly to the pub full of people.”

 

Aaron got back and made his way into the Mill. He couldn’t see anyone so he slumped down on the sofa. He thought Alex would be waiting for him, but there was no sign. Just as he was about to get up his phone went off. It was Alex. 

“Where are you?” Alex said with a little more worry then needed. 

“What!.. I’m at home, why?”

“Oh are you, come to the pub.”

Aaron frowned. “I don’t fancy it. We can just chill here.”

“Didn’t the meeting go well?”

“No.”

“Well let’s have a pint. Come on? Please.”

Aaron just wanted to just say no, but he felt like he couldn’t. “Alright. I’ll be there soon.”

 

“He’s on his way.” Alex beamed. 

 

Aaron took one step into the pub and was hit with a sea of people all shouting and smiling at him, party poppers and balloons everywhere. he stepped back in shock. “What…”

Alex came out of the crowd “happy birthday.” He kissed his lips quickly and pulled him into a hug. Aaron gave the best smile he could as tried to stay calm. Alex pulled away “surprise!” 

Aaron smiled widely “yea…yeah.” 

Alex was pleased with himself. “Happy Birthday.”

Aaron squinted his eyes. It’s not my birthday.” He said slowly. 

“It is next week though and I wanted to make sure all you family could be here for it so… I did it today.”

Aaron smiled again. “Thank you!” His Heart was beating a little too fast. He hated the attention, everyone looking at him, being there for him. 

They walked over to the bar. Chas smiled. “Surprise.” She said sarcastically. “Mmmnn thanks mum.”

Alex smiled beside him and Aaron just wanted to run. 

 

It was a few hours later and Alex had brought out a big cake, meaning that everyone had to sing happy birthday to him, which made him feel more anxious then he’d of liked. He hated it completely. He wanted the ground to swallow him up. 

 

Half an hour later and the party was on its last legs. Alex was dancing with faith as she downed another glass of champagne. Aaron was propped up at the bar with a beer, his anxiety hadn’t faded and he needed some air. 

As he walked out the front door of the pub he stopped as he looked out at the street. There he was, he’d know that shape anywhere, the outline of his ex husband. 

Aaron slowly walked towards the man that was sitting on the benches, staring out towards the houses. 

“Rob?” He said quietly. Standing calmly next to him. 

Robert looked up. “Hey.” He smiled lightly. “Don’t worry, I’m leaving soon.”

Aaron frowned. “No, no you don’t have to on my account.” Aaron looked round to see is anyone was watching before he sat down next tot Robert. 

They looked at each other for a second before both facing the street. 

“I didn’t know you where having a party. I wasn’t trying to intrude.” 

Aaron playing with the top of his bottle of beer. “Well I didn’t know I was having one either.” He smiled quickly before it faded. “I didn’t even see you come in and get a drink.”

“What’s the party for?” Robert asked as he looked at Aaron’s nervous hands. “Are you alright, Aaron?”

Aaron took a deep breath and nodded. “Yeah. Well…”

“Well what?” Robert could always tell when Aaron felt anxious. 

“Alex..he planned a surprise birthday party for me.”

Robert shook his head “it’s not your birthday till next week.”

“He wanted to do it early, something about having everyone there.” 

Robert just nodded. 

“It’s a bit much really.” Aaron said quietly. 

Robert didn’t say anything. 

“I felt like I just wanted to run out of there”. He said honestly. 

Robert just wanted to wrap Aaron in his arms. “You should tell him, so he’ll know next time that you don’t like the attention.”

“I have. I told him like two days ago that I hate all that and he still goes and does it.”

Aaron moved so he had one leg either side of the bench, facing Robert. “You’d of known.”

Robert smiled “That’s Because I’ve known you for a long time. He just needs more time to get to know you.”

“It’s just…” Aaron rested his bottle on the bench and bowed his head. “I don’t know if it’s what I want.”

Robert didn’t know what to say. He shuffled on the bench. “Aaron.” The words were so soft. 

“Robert what do I do?” He was desperate. “How do I tell him?”

“Tell him what?”

“That I don’t…that I’m not sure if I…”

“Aaron.” Robert interrupted “you don’t have to rushed into anything. Your just having a wobble because he doesn’t know every detail about you yet. It’s no big deal.” Robert felt his heat beat hard in his chest. It pained him to have this conversation. 

“But I told him how I hated all this stuff, the attention.”

“Well maybe he just thought you wouldn’t mind your family and friends.”

Aaron moved a little closer. “You don’t understand Robert. There’s other stuff as well.”

Robert turned to face Aaron a little more. “What stuff?” 

“He’s just too much. I can’t deal with all the fuss.”

Robert laughed “he’s just trying, that’s not a bad thing.”

“He doesn’t like toast. He tries to do everything for me, he rings me like four times a day to see if I’m alright.”

Robert could see the look of discomfort on his face. 

“Robert, he’s just not…” Aaron sighed. “Not for me.”

Robert felt Aaron’s hand on his arm.

“Aaron..”

Robert pulled his arm away. 

“What?.. I can’t even touch you now?”

Robert look at him. “You should be in there, dancing the night away with Alex.. not out here.”

Aaron scoffed and got up “fine. I thought we were mates!” 

Robert got up “we are.”

“Well act like it then…”

“I’m also someone that wants to wrap my arms around you, to protect you.” 

Aaron could see the glint of water in his eyes. 

“I’m not sure I’m the one you should be talking to about this.”

“But you know me. You know me better than anyone else in the world.”

They both went silent, the noise from the pub seeping out around them. 

“It’s not because of you. It’s because of him. He’s just not who I want to be with.”

Robert nodded. “I just want wants best for you.”

“I know you do.” 

There was a few more seconds of silence before Aaron walked up to Robert and rested his hands in his. “Thanks.”

Robert didn’t want to move. He didn’t know what to do.

“Robert.” Aaron whispered. 

“Yeah?” 

“You mean so much to me. I don’t wanna lose you.”

“You won’t.”

“Promise?.”

“I promise.”

 

“Aaron.” Alex called from the door of the pub. 

Aaron moved away quickly, but it was too late. Alex had seen them. 

Alex felt his chest thump as jealously ran through him. “You coming back to your own party!?”

Aaron felt himself panic “Yeah, Yeah.” His words broke as he hoped Alex didn’t see them being close. 

Aaron looked back at Robert and gave a half smile before walking back into the pub with Alex. 

“What did he want?” Alex asked. 

“Just having a beer. Wishing me happy birthday for next week. That’s all.”

Alex just nodded. He knew it was more than that but he didn’t want to get into. “Right.”

 

It was gone midnight when they got home. Liv had gone straight upstairs with a glass of water and Alex sat down at the kitchen table. 

“Thank you.” Aaron smiled as he leant down and kissed Alex on the lips softly. “Had a good night.”

Alex frowned a little. “Didn’t see you much.”

“What?”

“Well if you weren’t at the bar talking with your mum or Cain then You were outside with Robert.”

Aaron felt a bit hurt. “Well I’m not much of a dancer. You’d know that if you remembered what I said the other night.”

“And What was that?”

“That I hate surprises, big crowds or all the attention on me!”

Aaron felt instantly bad afterwards when he saw the look an Alex’s face. 

“How ungrateful!” Alex spat. “I was doing it all for you, something nice, special and you don’t even care!”

“Well if you’d of listen to me then you’d of know, Not to do it!”

“Well maybe Robert could have planned it, then you’d of liked it!”

Aaron felt anger building and he tried to breath through it. “You need to stop it with this Robert stuff. You’re always making small comments, I’m with you!”

“Could’ve fooled me!”

Aaron didn’t need this. His head was done in enough as it was from the whole night of feeling anxious. “I want you to leave.”

Alex huffed “What?”

“This is mine and Liv’s home. I’m asking you to leave it!”

“You kicking me out?”

“Yes!”

Alex smiled, a smile that Aaron didn’t like, one that was snarky, one he couldn’t read.”

“Your loss!” He grabbed his coat and left. 

Aaron just stood there, staring at the closed door. He felt lost. 

“Aaron?” Liv said softly from the middle of the stair case. “You alright?” She came down the stairs and stood in front of her brother. 

“Yeah.”

“I heard all that, you don’t have to lie to me.”

Aaron couldn’t help it, he burst into tears. Liv held onto him and slowly guided him to the sofa. “He didn’t hurt you did he?”

Aaron shook his head. 

“Is it over between you two?” 

Aaron wiped his face with his sleeve. “I don’t know. I think so.”

“Well he wasn’t very nice to you Aaron.”

“I don’t think I’m ready to be with anyone else.” He said suddenly. 

“Well that’s fine. You don’t have to be.”

Aaron felt a tightening in his lungs. 

“I can’t breathe… Liv..”

Aaron held his chest, trying to catch his breath.” 

Liv felt worried “Aaron.. Aaron what’s wrong?”

“I can’t breathe.” Aaron gasped as he felt dizzy. 

Liv didn’t know what to do. She’s heard about when her brother had panic attacks before, but she couldn’t remember what Robert told her to do. 

“It’s okay, just breath..” Liv ran her hand down his back. “It’s alright, your alright.”

It was only getting worse and she couldn’t hide her fear. She pulled out her phone and called Robert. She knew he’d know what to do. 

 

The second she said panic attack, Robert hung up the phone and rushed over to the Mill. 

 

 

Robert didn’t knock. He saw Aaron hunched over on the sofa and then looked at Liv, who looked terrified. 

“Hey.” He said to Liv calmly “it’s okay, he’ll be just fine.”

“He can’t breathe Robert!”

“It’s alright.”

Robert moved in front of Aaron and kneeled down. 

“Aaron.” His voice was deep and soft. “Can you hear me?” 

Aaron nodded, but didn’t look up. 

“Listen to me. Aaron focus on my voice.”

He could see him try to focus. 

Robert got as close to Aaron as he could without actually touching him.

“Robert.” Aaron voice was broken. 

“I’m here. It’s okay, I’m here.”

Aaron held his hand out for Robert. “Robert.”

Liv just stood there watching. Her heart was beating fast. She was shaken seeing her brother this way. 

Robert took Aaron’s hand and held it firmly. “Look at me Aaron.” 

Aaron lifted his head as his chest continued to heave up and down. Their eyes met and Robert smiled softly. “Your safe. I’m here… me and Liv, we’re the only ones here, your safe.” 

Aaron’s eyes closed. His hand gripped Roberts tight and pulled him towards himself. “Sorry.” Tears fell down Aaron’s face. 

Robert didn’t hesitate as he wiped Aaron’s cheek softly. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry about, nothing.”

Aaron’s breathing started to slow as he took a few deep breaths.

Robert was stroking his thumb over Aaron’s hand. “Do you want some water?” 

Robert knew he did. He always did when he was feeling this way. 

Aaron nodded. 

Robert looked over at Liv who was standing half way in the kitchen. “Can you get Aaron a glass of water?”

Liv nodded, glad of something to do. 

“Why don’t you lay down for a bit.” 

Aaron nodded, shuffled down the sofa and resting his head on a couple pillows that Robert quickly placed under him. 

Liv returned with the water and gave it to Robert. 

“Thanks.” He smiled before handing it to Aaron. Aaron took the small glass and drank it all down before handing it back to Robert.

“Get some sleep now.” He rested his hand on Aaron’s shoulder. 

Aaron just nodded, sinking down and closing his eyes. 

 

Aaron woke up the next morning, stretching his arms out and yawning silently. He sat up slowly, the previous night flashed into his memory. He looked around the room but couldn’t see any sign of Robert. 

Liv came padding down the stairs. “Morning.” She smiled. 

“Yeah, morning. Where’s Robert?”

“He went home a few hours after you fell asleep. He had to get back to Seb, he’d left him with Vic.”

Aaron just nodded. 

“He said to tell you… he’s always there for you.”

Aaron smiled. 

“I was scared.” Her voice was scratchy. “Sorry if it was the wrong thing to do.. calling Robert.”

“No it wasn’t, I’m thankful you did.”

Aaron got up, walked over to his little sister and hugged her tightly. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

“It’s alright. As long as you’re okay.”

Aaron kissed the side of her head. “I am, promise.”

 

Aaron walked onto the wooden bridge, hands deep in his coat pockets as he caught Roberts eye. “Alright.”

“Yeah, you?”

“Yeah.”

Aaron copied Robert pose as they both rested their forearms on the bridge looking out down the stream. 

“Thank you Robert.”

“Of course.”

Their voices were soft. Aaron shuffled a little closer. “Sometimes I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Could say the same to you.”

They both smiled. 

There was a comfortable silence before Aaron took Roberts hand and turned him towards him. “You mean the world.” Aaron whispered before quickly closing the gap and wrapping his arms around Roberts neck, pulling Robert as close as he could. 

Robert felt something he hadn’t in so long. The warm feeling, the feeling that Aaron gave him, the comfort he wishes he could have everyday for the rest of his life.


End file.
